I am puke
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
