I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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