I wanna bring you to show and tell
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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