better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
