Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I enjoy the company of your penis
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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