Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
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Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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