And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize