I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize