the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
