I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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