your parents love me but you hate me
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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