Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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