dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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