last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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