Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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