Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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