sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
