I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
