Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
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the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
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Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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