RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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