Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
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Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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