Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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