I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
