we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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