I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
