yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
