jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
