She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We left the knife in your bed.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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