let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize