Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
