If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize