Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
