sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
