Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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