BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's blow job season.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
