I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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