just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Randomize
