you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
how does that bad decision feel?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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