Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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