They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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