Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize