She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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