Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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