i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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