So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
