the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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