she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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