I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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