forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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