I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
