I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
In America we eat man semen.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
