There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
