Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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