Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
