So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
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his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
What a dumb baby whore.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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