trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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