I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
